Or have the other 5.5 ounces of my 6-ounce bag.This Cinnamon Toast Crunch Flaming drink recipe is a fiery twist on a classic favorite. If you’re desperate to try these, save your money and just dump a jar of cinnamon into your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It feels like I’m eating a Republican effort to turn out the Latino vote. “Canela dulce picante” (“spicy sweet cinnamon”), and “FUEGO” (“HOT”) are minimal and clearly written by white people. This product is intended to be an homage to Mexico’s sweet and spicy desserts, as evidenced from the sporadic use of Spanish on the packaging. Though perhaps this combination of carbohydrates and acrid spice has a future in my apartment as a hangover cure. I won’t be finishing these any time soon. “It’s America’s turn!” shouts General Mills, and they do it the American way: it tastes like Raisinets and moonshine. The marriage of sweet and spicy has existed in global cuisine for millennia: dakgangjeong of Korea, riz casimir of Switzerland, champurrado and chamoy candy of Mexico. No, the spiciness just comes from lots and lots of cinnamon. I was hoping for a nice chipotle seasoning, or cayenne pepper, or chili powder at the very least. Just as I choke down the chewed, wheaty mush, the spicy kick hits my uvula, and I’m back to feeling as if I’d done a shot of flavored alcohol-just without the buzz to make me want to go back for another one.Īccording to the ingredients list, there are no exciting spices added. In this case, they exacerbate each other’s worst qualities. But sweet and spicy don’t cancel each other out. Too much sweetness, a clinical sweetness that was added erroneously to one side of a math equation to balance out the added spiciness. “Sweet” is the first flavor that hits my mouth. The way they taste made me want to light myself on fire as well. They have graduated from cannibalism to arson. Instead, flames are coming out of their heads as they run around panicked, trying to find safety. These squares aren’t looking at each other hungrily like usual. But the packaging promises a different experience. It’s the same marbled square the same tried and true combination of cinnamon, sugar, and wheat product.
It looks close enough to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I plug my nose to keep my gag reflex at bay. For a moment, I’m back in my college dorm freshman year, about to take a sip from the bottle of Fireball Whisky my friends and I are splitting. I open the package, and I’m smacked with the smell of cinnamon so hard that I gag. It looks more like a snack chip with the name “High Voltage,” or “Eruption,” or “Vehicular Homicide.” Maybe I’ve gotten myself into a flavor intensity that I’m not ready for. It has all of the graphic design conventions of a forest fire prevention poster, or a car fresh off of Pimp My Ride. The typical pleasant pastel colors are red and orange against an imposing black silhouette of a flame in the middle of the bag.
The packaging is nothing like the design of a Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal box.
I would be an idiot to pass up such an amazing deal. They’re on sale for Kroger cardholders: three dollars are marked off of their five-dollar price tag. There’s a display by the entrance: baskets stuffed with limited-edition packages of a new product by the think tank at General Mills: Spicy CinnaFUEGO Toast Crunch. Tonight’s club is Kroger, no cover fee required. I have a normal-sized one for my wallet and a miniature version that hangs off my keychain because I’m that serious about the great discounts it offers on exciting products like generic-brand pasta (cut with sawdust!), generic-brand coffee pods (now with half the coffee grounds!), and any products that the location is eager to get rid of (still food!).
Flaming cinnamon toast crunch shot license#
I check my wallet: my driver’s license is expired, so bars are out of the question, bus pass, my dental insurance card-I suppose a teeth whitening wouldn’t be the worst use of my time. It’s Monday night, and in typical Monday fashion, there is nothing exciting to do.
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